Its strange. I feel almost guilty writing about myself, as if I am self-centered. Maybe I am? I almost wish (almost being the key word ;P) I had cute kids to comment about--though I do not envy all the work that Alison puts forth--hmm or, maybe a mischevious pet to complain about? Anything to talk about... but myself.
But, I guess this is my blog so, who else would this blog really be concerned with? lol Well, here goes nothing...
The Non-Single Life of Its interesting how I have gone 19 years through my life and never once had a boyfriend. I never felt really bad about it. Once in a while during my depressive days, I would consider maybe something was wrong with me. I had had some bad experiences before. Me, liking boys that didnt like me back. The worst part of it, is the fact that I had to read the book "He's Just Not That Into You" to eventually admit the truth. Nice guys that I knew I couldnt feel interested toward, were the ones getting my number and asking me out. It was as if there were two categories. Boys that I liked signed their name under the category "Shes a Great Girl and Friend," and Boys that I wasnt particularly interested in, signed their name under "Shes the One for Me." lol it was a difficult situation. When it came to the realm of boys, I had almost concluded that I would always be their best friends but not anything more. This passed semester made me realize that I was wrong.
I was social all the time. I knew almost every boy's name in the ward. I would play a game with myself, as I would go through the directory of people and numbers, I would cover up their names and try to guess each one without looking. I made it through all 100 boys only twice-though I didnt even attempt to do the girls lol. Almost every night I found myself with a different guys apartment. It was fun seeing others, and spending time with them, though I knew most likely nothing would come out of any efforts I put forth besides a good friend for the remaining semester.
It wasnt until, after ward prayer one fateful night, that I met the man of my dreams-haha jk jk, well, he is dreamy, but luckily I havent had too many Prince Charming dreams to compare him to. I remember Trevor saying he had heard about me, those first few words that we spoke to each other, and I felt almost embarrassed-hoping that what he had heard wasnt too dreadful lol. Its funny looking back. It definitely wasnt love at first sight as people so often refer to. I remember thinking Trevor was funny, had a good sense of humor, and was fun to talk to. But in my mind I wasnt picturing Sarah Rands over and over. Thats the hard thing here at BYU too. You mention dating and the first question that pops into everyones head is "When's the wedding?" I cant help but shake my head and say... "Its been like 2 minutes since we've even met lol! Im not getting married anytime soon!" People are so funny. Plus Im 19. Who in their right mind would even consider getting married then, even if you found the right person? (haha just kidding mom :P) But I cant help but think that Im not ready for that kind of commitment. I'm not ready to go off into the sunset when I have nothing but the clothes on my back and a high school education to take with me lol. But enough about marriage. That part was for those who were worried that I would be stuck on cloud 9 and marry after a week of dating ;) Dont worry guys, I wont. lol maybe its a bit strange for me to talk about my relationship on my blog? Is it against blogging rules? Well, I guess that just proves Im not only a rebel against the family blog, but against all blogs in general! muahahaha. All I have to say is good thing Trevor doesnt know I have a blog lol. But yes, hopefully I havent bored you to no end at this point. Heres a list I made in my head....
Things That I love about dating:
1.) I love going to classes and not have to look around the classroom wondering what cute boy will sit by me today
2.) I love having someone that I can text/call anytime and not have to overthink what to say
3.) I love studying together and knowing the person I would want to be having fun with is right next to me studying too.
4.) I love having plans every night. Whether its watch a movie or playing a round of mario cart.
5.) I love having a cuddle buddy-hehe yes cuddling is way more fun than anyone ever told me. (dont worry, cuddling is defined as his arm around me or holding hands etc)
6.) I love having DTRs lol (Define the relationship) Or any other serious talks. We have issues sometimes and we talk them out and I love doing it- Is that wierd? lol I feel like we grow closer.
7.) I love knowing that I enjoy being around him as much as he loves to be around me.
8.) I love making him go to Girly movies, or watch scary movies (Trevor has a crazy imagination so he gets really scared) just because I know he wants to see them only because I do.
9.) Not having awkward doorstep scenes. Ive had too many of those... lol
10.) Having someone to celebrate valentines day with lol. K that was kind of a stretch but seriously. Every valentines day Ive always considered it an "appreciate friends and family day". This time I actually have a valentine! lol.
11.) Someone to go on walks with!
12.) Someone to warm my hands when its really cold outside.
13.) A kind person to care when Im feeling sick or stressed or hungry ect...
14.) Someone I can care about, think about during the day, wonder how they are doing, and be excited to see again.
There are so many more... I will continue to update the list :)
Okay, yes. I know what youre thinking. I am still a teenager, and unfortunetaly... it is true. But only for 5 more months hehe. But I just wanted to write my thoughts down and give some sort of idea where I am now in my life.
I am so happy! I am so grateful to be here at BYU-theres no where on earth Id rather be than getting my education here. I am so grateful for a fun loving family and cute a niece and nephews to see and read about. I am grateful for the good advise I get from all my family members as well! I am happy for amazing roommates. I am grateful to be dating a great guy that I like! And grateful for his family too! The Lord blesses me so much and I know I dont deserve all of this. I feel like I am on a high point in my life, just waiting for a trial to come my way to keep me humble lol. But no matter what, I am so grateful for this gospel to get through those trials!
